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A Decade’s Worth of Random Thoughts

22 Aug

Two days ago, I opened up the little black moleskine I keep in my purse to make a note, and realized I had only one page left. I bought this moleskine just before I left for my junior year abroad . . . almost exactly ten years ago. And it’s one of the things, along with my wallet, keys, and a pen, that I always make sure I have with me before leaving the house.

Reaching the end made me stop to think about everything that has happened in life since I first cracked it open: the year studying in England, my first broken heart, graduating from college, moving to NYC to start my career, family dramas, world dramas, friends made and lost, apartment hunting and moving, books read, re-read, loved, recommended, or abandoned, discoveries of all kinds, friends and family members’ weddings & babies. Basically, the period of life in which I grew up. It’s neat to compare what’s written here with the journals I’ve kept during the last ten years, too. There’s a lot of telling in the journals, but the random snippets from the moleskine are just as revealing and memory-triggering. It’s full of notes from talks I’ve gone to, brainstorming for talks I’ve given, lines from articles or books I like, funny things friends have said, t-shirt ideas, lines of poetry (most of which never became anything more than that), illustrators I like, authors I want to read, shopping lists, and other random thoughts and observations.

Here are just a few:

words I like: chthonic, tiptoe, lamppost, unfurled

the curl of pianist’s back

open by chance or appointment

Umberto Eco: “‘who dunnit?’ is a theological question”

things i don’t have keys to

Ira Glass: “notice the people who won’t go away”

grocery list: milk, butter, eggs, whipping cream, raspberries, dark chocolate

shopping list: shelves, hammock stand, pillows

Friend: “I don’t like worms, but leeches concern me.”

At final Harry Potter book street party at Scholastic:
Woman 1: “So what’s going on here besides the book releasing?”
Woman 2: “Oh, the book releasing. That explains the capes.”

How do you share ebooks? If one sibling finishes book and starts another, how do you pass the finished one to other kid?

Head in the Clouds

27 Jul

I’ve seen a lot of my more tech-minded friends talk of “cloud computing” recently, which is something I have only the vaguest understanding of. But that’s okay, because I have my own idea of what the “cloud” is. To me, it’s the invisible something that writers can draw from.

In one of my (long ago) college critical theory classes, we talked about the idea of all authors having an antenna that is always on, always picking up signals from the wider world. This has always stuck with me. Authors have finely tuned observational powers, which always astonish me, and sometimes they are able to observe more than what they can see/hear/smell/taste/touch. Sometimes their observations stretch into that cloud. That’s how some elements and themes can end up in a work even when the author may not consciously intend it. And how there are certain themes that a number of different authors end up writing about at the same time. The most noticed recent example is probably the Kristin Cashore and Suzanne Collins books. Graceling and The Hunger Games both had characters with similar names (Katsa and Katniss), who had to confront killing other characters in the course of their stories. And now, the companion/sequel to each has the word “fire” in it. It’s odd coincidences like these that make me believe in the cloud. I see it often in submissions, too. It’s always interesting to get a number of submissions from different kinds of writers, who are all in different parts of the countries and writing about different characters and plots, that somehow have intersecting elements.

To me, that’s the magical part of writing. Somewhere out there, invisible to the rest of us, all of these stories exist, all of these ideas, emotions, and people whom we readers need to help us make sense of the world, of life, even when we might not know exactly what we needed. And authors are tapping into that cloud, giving those stories to us, maybe sometimes without even being aware of it themselves. It’s a pretty amazing gift, if you ask me.

Oh, What a World

11 Jul

Ever since my morning in the Magic Kingdom last month, I’ve been thinking a lot about world-building. Walking around by myself made the experience very much one of observing, rather than goofing around, as I expect would have happened had I been with a group of friends.

Part of me–my inner child–was delighted by the whole place. The way every last detail has been planned out, that you never see a “mistake” or false move–it’s so complete. That’s so impressive, and it’s such a total experience.

And yet…

Maybe it’s because I’m a grown-up, maybe it’s because I’ve lived in NYC for nearly eight years now, but the other part of me was wondering things like, “But where’s all the trash?” “How do they stay so perky all the time?” “What happens behind the Cast Member Only doors?”

The last is the most intriguing. Because I bet that’s where the real story is. Where the “cast members” gripe and complain and trade funny stories and, well, live. Everything else is a facade. An expertly detailed one, but one that only stands because of all the inner workings, and what happens behind the closed doors.

Adversaries, take 2. The nicer take.

17 Apr

“This isn’t romance. This isn’t a declaration of love or affirmation of friendship. This is something more.” –Melina Marchetta, Jellicoe Road

It occurred to me after reading the couple of comments on the adversaries post that the same dynamic is important in non-opponent relationships, too. Finishing Jellicoe Road recently also underscored it, as I watched how Taylor and Griggs’s opponentship and relationship unfolded.

The people who a protagonist spends time with, whether as friend, enemy, family, or love, have to be people worth that time for both the character and the reader. The king and queen of Attolia are one of literature’s greatest couples because they challenge each other both as opponents and as lovers. Nick and Norah (of the Infinite Playlist) work because they challenge each other. Mildred and Jacob in Me and the Pumpkin Queen are such great friends because they understand, support, and complement one another. The same with Billy, Tommy, and Ernestine in Tracking Daddy Down. And Toot and Puddle. The most compelling relationships are the ones in which the characters are different, but equal.

Maybe this is the germ of a future conference talk, but I’d love to hear what others have to say.

I wish I were as smart as Ira Glass.

23 Feb

During some blog reading in the last week or so, I was lucky enough to come across this video of Ira Glass speaking on stories. I’ve heard him once before on this topic, and he has such a sharp view of what makes a good story, and articulates it so well. Though he’s, of course, speaking about making stories for radio, what he says about stories is universal for any medium. I transcribed a number of things, including:

“Narrative is like a back door into a very deep place inside of us, and a place where reason doesn’t necessarily hold sway.”

“When a story gets inside of us, it makes us less crazy.”

He also talks about taste, about surprise, about the structure of telling a story. And about how a story is most satisfying when the audience knows what the bigger, universal “something” of the story is.

Ira Glass at Gel 2007 from Gel Conference on Vimeo.

Quotable Sunday

1 Feb

Everyone at Kindling Words gave a favorite quotation, many of which resonated with me, so I thought I would share those. . . .

“‘Now’ is the operative word. . . . You don’t need endless time and perfect conditions. Do it now. Do it today. Do it for twenty minutes and watch your heart start beating.”–Barbara Sher

“The first duty of a revolutionary is to get away with it.”–Abbie Hoffman

“One of the marks of a gift is to have the courage of it.”–Katherine Anne Porter

“We are never so defenseless against suffering as when we love, never so forlornly unhappy as when we have lost our love object or its love.”–Sigmund Freud

“We will rise to the occasion which is life.”–Virginia Euwer Wolff

“Good judgment comes from experience. Experience comes from bad judgment.”–proverb

“Don’t tell me the moon is shining; show me the glint of light on broken glass.”–Anton Chekhov

“Writing a novel is like driving a car at night. You can see only as far as your headlights, but you can make the whole trip that way.”–E. L. Doctorow

“It’s not down on any map; true places never are.”–Herman Melville

“Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.”–George Bernard Shaw

“Whoever you are, no matter how lonely, the world offers itself to your imagination, calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting–over and over announcing your place in the family of things.”–Mary Oliver

“Life is always a tightrope or a feather bed. Give me the tightrope.”–Edith Wharton

“Don’t ask yourself what the world regards; ask yourself what makes you come alive and then go and do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”–Howard Thurman

“I never know what I think about something until I read what I’ve written on it.”–William Faulkner

“That’s a sure way to tell about somebody–the way they play, or don’t play, make-believe.”–Madeleine L’Engle

“Things needs not have happened to be true.”–Neil Gaiman

“Grown-ups always say they protect their children, but they’re really protecting themselves. Besides, you can’t protect children. They know everything.”–Maurice Sendak

(I gave the Yeats quote that I love: “I bring you with reverent hands / The books of my numberless dreams.”)

Making choices

15 Dec

Every once and a while, I notice a theme in my reading, and usually it’s completely accidental. This fall it’s been books (and a few manuscripts) about choice. Which, okay, is an underlying theme in a lot of teen books, since it’s a big teen concern–choosing who to be, how to live life, how to be independent. But my fall reading has very much been about characters whose main conflict is the choice between being true to themselves, following their dream or passion or being in love. I’m so glad that there are these books for teen out there. They are important, because they show that it’s not all about the boy (or girl, if the protagonist is a boy). Part of me wonders if the novels about these concerns lately have been reactions to Twilight, in which Bella does pretty completely lose herself for Edward.

The novels that have struck me most are The Disreputable History of Frankie Landau-Banks, The Forest of Hands and Teeth, and Graceling. I really liked them all for their strong female characters and their approaches to how these young women see their choices. In Disreputable History, Frankie has to deal with getting the guy she’s had a crush on, but him not seeing all of her, seeing her only as adorable, rather than the brilliant, challenging person she is. She has the thought in one situation, reflecting on how she’s proud of herself for confronting someone, “At least I wasn’t someone’s little sister, someone’s girlfriend, some sophomore, some girl–someone whose opinions don’t matter.” And later, “She will not be simple and sweet. She will not be what people tell her she should be.” In The Forest of Hands and Teeth, Mary lives in a world overrun by zombies, where humans are only safe in a fenced off village. But Mary’s heard of the ocean, and believes in it, wants to find it. She, too, ends up struggling with her love for a boy and her wish to see the ocean, to believe that more exists outside their fences. “Ever since that day on the hill, ever since he promised he would come for me, this was always supposed to be our dream, together. It was never supposed to be about having to choose one or the other,” she says at one point. It’s fantastic that teens have strong characters like Frankie and Mary who are confronting these sorts of conflicts, so that readers can see how these young women decide, deal with it. So that they see that being conflicted like that is okay. That they shouldn’t lose themselves for someone else. The only quibble I have is: why does it have to be a choice? Why can’t they be true to themselves and their dreams and have love? Of course, maybe the key there is that neither Mary nor Frankie have met the right guys, the ones that get them, and really see them. Which is part of what I adore about Graceling. Katsa has the same trouble– “She loved Po. She wanted Po. And she could never be anybody’s but her own.”–but she finds a way to have both. She’s able to remain thoroughly herself, but also to love and be loved, however unconventionally.

Katsa reminds me a little of Alanna from Tamora Pierce’s Song of the Lioness quartet (which have been my favorite books since I was ten) in how she reconciles having her freedom and her love. The Alanna books were among the first of the “kickass girl” books, in which the hero is a girl, not a boy, along with Robin McKinley’s The Blue Sword and The Hero and the Crown. So, twenty-ish years later, and there are many, many more books showing girls as heroes, as strong, independent people. But still facing the same choices and problems. I’d like to think that these days, though, these aren’t feminist issues, but people issues. And I do think there are boy books about the same themes.

Thanksgiving

27 Nov

I am thankful that I woke up to the smell of the turkey cooking; that both of my siblings and I were all able to come home for the holiday; that we still put the Macy’s parade on while we make coffee and help around the kitchen and generally putz around; that everyone still stops for a minute when Santa comes at the end; that my cousins and their kids joined us; that we sit around, talking and listening to each other; that Thanksgiving is a day to slow down and catch up with life; that my parents’ home is a warm, inviting place full of life shining in a dark, snowy, starry night.

I am thankful for a job that I believe affects people and makes the world better; that I help to bring kids and teens the kinds of stories that will stick with them and help them figure out life, choice, love, school, friendship, independence, and so many other things; that I get to know and work with awe-inspiring, creative people; that what I do is all about connection.

I am thankful for amazing friends who are funny, smart, passionate, giving, strong, and generally incredible people.

I am thankful.

Sharing Books

14 Nov

One of my favorite quotes, the one that embodies so eloquently and deeply not only what books mean to me, but what they mean to my relationships with other people, is from a poem by W. B. Yeats: “I bring you with reverent hands / the books of my numberless dreams.”* (From “A Poet to His Beloved”) I can’t imagine any vow or promise carrying more significance than the sentiment that line expresses.

Books are so easily shared, yet are so tremendously personal. The person I am, the way I think, the way I approach life, have all been shaped by the books that I have read. I’ve never been able to name “the book that changed my life” because every book has changed my life. The ones that I love are more than just objects on a shelf (or mp3s on my ipod). They hold parts of me inside of them. In their pages, they hold the places, the thoughts, the people, the smells, sounds, emotions that surrounded me as I read. Often rereading can take me back to the time and place of that previous read, can remind me more sharply of particular moments or feelings than anything else can.

And so, sharing books, even sharing thoughts about books, can be a very intimate act, when it comes right down to it. I mentioned in a previous post that I’ve been collecting quotes since I was in high school. In blank books, I write down lines and passages from books or articles or that I just stumble across somewhere. I sometimes think that giving someone those quote books to read would reveal more about me than giving them the journals that I’ve kept in the last 15 years. In them are the ideas that I identified with, agreed with, found funny, found moving, disagreed with but found thought-provoking–and how I’ve grown in my thoughts about everything over the years (even if I am still mostly reading books for the YA audience). I love sharing books with people, I love the sense that I am saying, essentially, “Here is something that got inside my head, and I hope it gets inside yours, too, and let’s talk about it once you read it.”

Everything we read affects our minds somehow, and being able to share something that affects your mind is pretty remarkable. Being able to have a conversation with another person about how that book affected you, what it made you think, is exciting. Maybe the person I share with won’t pick up on the exact same themes or passages that I did, but regardless, we’ll still both have that book, that story, inside of us. This feeling about books may be part of why I have an enormous to-read list. Because every time a friend tells me about a book they’ve loved or found interesting, I want to read it, too, to understand something that’s now a part of that person I care about.

My library doesn’t contains just stories and worlds and beautiful writing. It contains memories, emotions, thoughts. . . . The books that I keep, the ones I’ve connected to and identified with and found valuable enough to cart with me from apartment to apartment, to make sure I have the space for . . . well, I’m attached to them. Lots of times I’ve actually scribbled notes in them and marked the passages I later transcribed in my quote books. They’re little parts of my mind. My numberless dreams.

* Thanks, Angie, who introduced me to this quote. (In fact, is this quote part of the reason we became friends? Apart from our mutual literary crush on George Cooper? (And other mutual literary crushes.))

For Provoking the Thoughts

18 Sep

I’m off to North Carolina to speak at an SCBWI conference, but here are two articles that have had my gears turning this week.

A sort of alarmist and gloom-and-doomy article about The End of publishing from New York Magazine.

And another look toward the future of media, but this time in roundtable fashion.

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