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A couple of weeks ago, I got to learn and participate a little in an African drum circle. Which isn’t something I would have ever sought out myself, probably, but I’m really glad the opportunity came my way. The man leading us made sure we understood that a drum circle is just that–a circle, a community. You can’t just take a drum and go off in a corner by yourself (because that would clearly annoy your neighbors pretty quickly); you have to be with a group, practicing a rhythm and beat together. It’s about belonging to something larger than yourself, and connection.
The African word he taught us is “ubuntu.” Which, as he explained it, means: I am me because of you, and you are you because of me. So simple, and yet . . . not. In a time of year when ads want us to believe that love and connection can be shown with things–things as superficial as a mass-produced necklace or an overused saying–I think ubuntu stands out as even more real and solid. A day, a life, has meaning because of the people who are connected to it and to us. The memories, traditions, gestures, and affections.
I am me because of the writers who have shared their stories with me; because of my family and friends; because of my teachers and mentors; because of the people who have loved me, and the people who have hurt me; the people who are here, and the ones who’ve gone; the ones near and those far; those I’ve known forever and those I’ve known only briefly.
One of the other things being part of a drum circle, even for only a few minutes, highlighted is that I have absolutely no rhythm. (Which isn’t a new discovery at all.) Think about it too much, and I completely lose the rhythm of drumming (or dancing or clapping or . . . well, anything). But if I stop thinking, and just listen to everyone around me, I can totally stay with them. With them, I can find the beat. Ubuntu.
“A friend is one who walks in when everyone else walks out.”
“Understand that happiness is not based on possessions, power, or prestige, but on relationships with people you love and respect.”
“Wherever you are, it is your friends who make your world.”
“A best friend, in my opinion, is someone who you can be foolish in front of, you know, be yourself.”
“We are all travelers in the wilderness of this world, and the best we can hope to find in our travels is an honest friend.” -Robert Louis Stevenson
” ‘You have been my friends,’ replied Charlotte. ‘That in itself is a tremendous thing.’” –E. B. White, Charlotte’s Web
“To let friendship die away by negligence and silence is certainly not wise.” –Samuel Johnson
“What is a friend? A single soul dwelling in two bodies.” –Aristotle
“The greatest happiness in life is the conviction that we are loved–loved for ourselves, or rather, in spite of ourselves.” –Victor Hugo
“Friends may change and friendships evolve, but they never truly end because they are not merely the destinations of a passing moment but the journeys of a lifetime.”
“A friend is a person who reaches for your hand and touches your soul.”
“Truly great friends are hard to find, difficult to leave, and impossible to forget.”
“There are not many things in life so beautiful as true friendship, and not many things more uncommon.”
“I no doubt deserved my enemies, but I don’t believe I deserved my friends.” –Walt Whitman
“The making of friends, who are real friends, is the best token we have of a man’s success in life.” –Edward Everett Hale
“I do not wish to treat friendships daintily, but with roughest courage. When the are real, they are not glass threads or frost-work, but the solidest thing we know.” –Emerson
“Nothing makes the earth seems so spacious as to have friends at a distance; they make the latitudes and the longitudes.” –Thoreau
“It is the friends you can call up at 4 a.m. that matter.” –Marlene Dietrich
“My God, this is a hell of a job. I have no trouble with my enemies. I can take care of my enemies all right. But my damn friends, my goddamn friends. They’re the ones that keep me walking the floor at night.” –Warren G. Harding
“A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked.” –Bernard Meltzer
“If I had to choose between betraying my country and betraying my friends, I hope I should have the guts to betray my country.” –E. M. Forster
“Two persons cannot long be friends if they cannot forgive each other’s little failings.” –Jean de la Bruyere
“Friendship is the hardest thing in the world to explain. It’s not something you learn in school. But if you haven’t learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven’t learned anything.” –Mohammed Ali
“The most beautiful discover true friends can make is that they can grow separately without growing apart.”
“People say true friends must always hold hands, but true friends don’t need to hold hands because they know the other hand will always be there.”
“Friendship is certainly the balm for the pangs of disappointed love.” –Jane Austen
“Meaning that if someone is really close with you, your getting upset or them getting upset is okay, and they don’t change because of it. It’s just part of the relationship. It happens. You deal with it.” –Sarah Dessen, Just Listen
“It struck her that she was very lucky in her life’s people.” –Kristin Cashore, Fire
I am thankful that I woke up to the smell of the turkey cooking; that both of my siblings and I were all able to come home for the holiday; that we still put the Macy’s parade on while we make coffee and help around the kitchen and generally putz around; that everyone still stops for a minute when Santa comes at the end; that my cousins and their kids joined us; that we sit around, talking and listening to each other; that Thanksgiving is a day to slow down and catch up with life; that my parents’ home is a warm, inviting place full of life shining in a dark, snowy, starry night.
I am thankful for a job that I believe affects people and makes the world better; that I help to bring kids and teens the kinds of stories that will stick with them and help them figure out life, choice, love, school, friendship, independence, and so many other things; that I get to know and work with awe-inspiring, creative people; that what I do is all about connection.
I am thankful for amazing friends who are funny, smart, passionate, giving, strong, and generally incredible people.
I am thankful.













